It was suggested that I add a clean jokes area.  Here it is (Thanks Colleen).  I hope you enjoy these pages. 


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Basic Jokes - Clean jokes for a dirty world

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98 Clean Jokes

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Mega Joke Reader - pretty cool


A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture.
When the son returned, he said, "Papa, I had a great time in Israel.
By the way, I converted to Christianity."
"Oy vey," said the father, "what have I done!" He took his problem to
his best friend.
"Ike," he said, "I sent my son to Israel, and he
came home a Christian. What can I do?"
"Funny you should ask," said Ike. "I, too, sent my
son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian.
Perhaps we should go see the Rabbi."
They explained their problem to the Rabbi.
"Funny you should ask," said the rabbi.
"I, too sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian.
What is happening to our young people?
They prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.
As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens,
"Funny you should ask,"
said the voice. "I, too, sent my son to Israel... "


There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an
old family Bible to her brother in another part of
the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?"
asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of
people in the world. There are those who wake up in
the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there
are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good
Lord, it's morning."
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a
large city because he was short of time and couldn't
find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under
the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the
block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my
appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police
officer along with this note "I've circled this
block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket
I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday
and announced to his congregation: "I have good news
and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money
to pay for our new building program. The bad news
is, it's still out there in your pockets."
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to
an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage
obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to
the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign...
"Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.
Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a
question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about
God?"  A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!"
> said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you
know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "
A minister waited in line to have his car filled
with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The
attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars
ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him
toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young
man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if
everyone waits until the last minute to get ready
for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know
what you mean. It's the same in my business."
People want the front of the bus, the back of the
church, and the center of attention.
A father was approached by his small son who told
him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His
father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you
'know' what the Bible means?" The son replied, "I do
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy." the young boy replied
excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before
Leaving Earth.'"
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young
daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter
answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the
day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked
him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was
about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he
was going to ask the congregation to come up with
more money than they were expecting for repairs to
the church building.
Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular
organist was sick and a substitute had been brought
in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know
what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently.
"But, you'll have to think of something to play
after I make the announcement about the finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said,
"Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty;
the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected
and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge
$100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The
Star Spangled Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life.


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